We all want to be loved, but how well do we understand what makes us loveable? Recent research indicates: not very well at all.
With help from Opinium, we asked over 2,000 people what they think makes someone a desirable partner. Then we asked them what other people think...
Mars & Venus - Are we really from two different planets?
It's an old line: men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Could that explain why it's so hard to know what the opposite sex wants?
The Mars mind-set
So what do men think women are looking for?
First of all, men think women are a lot more money-minded than they really are. 30% of men reckon women want a man with lots of money, but they couldn't be more wrong. A mere 6% of people who are attracted to men said it was important.
Wrongness ratio - 5:1
And it seems men don't 'get' what women really are after. Just 13% of the men we asked said women want a man who shares their interests - but a full 38% of the people attracted to men said it was important.
Wrongness ratio - 3:1
The view from Venus
On the other side of the coin, it looks like men's minds are a mystery too.
Men appreciate intelligence a lot more than their partners think! Just 16% of women think men are looking for a partner with brains - but a full 45% of the people who like women said it does make a woman attractive.
Wrongness ratio - 3:1
Women also pay far too much attention to their wardrobe. 32% of them reckon men want a well-dressed woman. When we asked women's partners (and would-be partners), just 7% of them said 'being well dressed' was important in a woman.
Wrongness ratio: 4½:1
What makes a woman attractive?
People** who think it's important in a woman
Women who think men want this in a partner
A good sense of humour
67%
36%
Intelligence
45%
16%
Good looks
43%
69%
Being a good listener
15%
15%
Being well dressed
7%
32%
What makes a man attractive?
People*** who think it's important in a man
Men who think women want this in a partner
A good sense of humour
38%
13%
Intelligence
29%
25%
Good looks
20%
36%
Being a good listener
8%
19%
Being well dressed
6%
30%
| People** who think it's important in a woman | Women who think men want this in a partner | |
| A good sense of humour | 67% | 36% |
| Intelligence | 45% | 16% |
| Good looks | 43% | 69% |
| Being a good listener | 15% | 15% |
| Being well dressed | 7% | 32% |
| People*** who think it's important in a man | Men who think women want this in a partner | |
| A good sense of humour | 38% | 13% |
| Intelligence | 29% | 25% |
| Good looks | 20% | 36% |
| Being a good listener | 8% | 19% |
| Being well dressed | 6% | 30% |
* Opinium Research carried out 2,016 online interviews between 1st and 4th February 2013
** % of all respondents, regardless of gender, who are attracted to women.
*** % of all respondents, regardless of gender, who are attracted to men.