One in six Brits resents their partner’s finances – here’s why

New research here at thinkmoney has uncovered a worrying trend: more than one in six Brits (16%) resent their partner’s financial situation. 

The study of 2,000 adults found that money tension is common behind closed doors, with many couples clashing over earnings, spending and hidden debt. 

Consumer expert Vix Leyton says many couples don’t realise how fast resentment can grow. 

“Love might be blind, but bank balances aren’t,” Vix says. “Resentment doesn’t usually explode overnight – it creeps in through small moments. Watching your partner splash out when you’re counting pennies, arguing over who paid for dinner, or feeling like you’re carrying all the financial admin on your own.” 

Almost half of those in a relationship (44%) say their biggest frustration is when their partner earns more but spends freely, with no thought for shared responsibilities. 

Another 27% feel their other half simply doesn’t pay their fair share. 

Vix adds: “This isn’t about greed – it’s about fairness. People want transparency, balance and to feel like they’re building something together. When one person earns more and spends freely, avoids paying their way, or keeps debt hidden, it can quickly stop feeling like a partnership.” 

Women feel the strain more 

The study suggests the gender gap is still shaping how couples handle money. 

• Half of women (50%) say their partner earns more and spends freely, compared with 37% of men. 

• Nearly one in five women (21%) say their partner earns well but still claims to be skint. 

Vix says this points to deeper issues: “The fact that women are more likely to say their partner earns more and spends freely shows there’s still a deeper imbalance at play. Until couples feel financially equal and open with each other, money will keep fuelling tension behind closed doors.” 

Different money habits cause conflict too

Many couples say they simply don’t view money the same way:

• 22% describe themselves as a saver and their partner as a spender

• 14% say it’s the other way around

Both situations create stress.

Debt is another flashpoint. One in five (20%) say their partner is in debt, while 18% believe their loved one is hiding debt altogether.

The emotional load also weighs heavily. Almost one in five (18%) say they carry the “financial mental load,” setting up bills or managing the mortgage alone.

Top 10 financial gripes between UK couples 

• Partner earns more but spends freely – 44% 

• Partner should pay their way more often – 27% 

• Different attitudes to spending (I’m a saver) – 22% 

• Partner has debt – 20% 

• Partner has hidden debt – 18% 

• I carry the financial mental load – 18% 

• We argue about paying for meals, holidays or home items – 15% 

• Partner earns well but says they’re skint – 14% 

• Different attitudes to spending (I’m a spender) – 14% 

• Partner won’t say what they earn – 8% 

How couples can stay financially aligned 

Here are Vix's top tips on steps couples can take to avoid money clashes.  

1. Be open from the start

Share the important details early on, including income, debts, overdrafts and any Buy Now Pay Later commitments. Openness from day one stops money surprises from causing problems later.

2. Understand each other’s money mindset

People naturally approach money differently. One might save every penny, while the other is more relaxed about spending. Understanding these habits helps prevent misunderstandings.

3. Be honest about debt

Debt by itself isn’t unusual, but hiding it can cause serious stress. Having a clear plan to repay what’s owed makes the situation easier for both partners.

4. Agree on what ‘fair’ means for you

Fair doesn’t always mean splitting everything 50/50. If one partner earns more, it may make sense for them to cover a larger share. The key is finding an arrangement that feels balanced to both.

5. Keep both partners in the loop

Even if one person handles the bills or the mortgage, both should understand the basics of what’s going in and out. This stops anyone feeling shut out of important decisions.

6. Maintain some financial independence

Having a bit of personal savings or your own spending money helps both partners feel secure. Independence is about confidence and resilience, not mistrust.

7. Set short‑term goals first

Before jumping into five‑year plans, agree on priorities for the next year. Short‑term goals help keep day‑to‑day spending and saving aligned.

8. Build a small buffer

An emergency fund, even a small one, makes unexpected costs less stressful. It’s about consistency, rather than hitting a huge number overnight.

9. Talk early about big life costs

Major moments like weddings, buying a home or having children need honest conversations. These decisions are emotional, but they’re also major financial steps.

10. Think about long‑term security

It’s easy to overlook pensions, but gaps can grow quickly, especially for anyone earning less or taking time out for childcare. Both partners should understand what’s being paid in and how it affects their future.