What is financial abuse, and why are so many young men missing the signs?

Shocking research has today revealed that one in five young men don’t see controlling money as abusive behaviour.

It underlines the screaming need for education on financial abuse among young people.

The findings are a stark wakeup call that we all need to do more to tackle the issue as young women are experiencing the highest rates of economic abuse.

What is economic abuse?

From the job you take to where you live, money is a key part of our everyday lives. If someone else is controlling your cash, they can control who you see, where you go and what you do.

This hidden form of control strips away people’s independence and financial stability and devastates families.  

The problem is that economic abuse can be harder to spot – than say, physical abuse.

But it can show up in many ways including:

• restricting someone’s ability to earn

• running up debts in someone else’s name

• controlling someone’s money

• misusing payment references to harass someone 

Economic abuse is just as devastating as other forms of abuse and is a criminal offence under the controlling or coercive behaviour offence.

Is controlling someone's money abuse?

The need for action on the issue is evident by new research released by the Home Office and charity Surviving Economic Abuse.

The data is pretty shocking and shows that younger men aged 18–24 are far less likely than older men to understand what counts as economically abusive behaviour.

Almost 20% of 18-24 year-old men say that controlling how someone spends their money is probably not or definitely not abuse, according to the Home Office research.

This compares to 6% of 45–54-year-olds.

One in five young men also don’t recognise controlling access to a personal bank account as abuse.

Around 16% of 18–24-year-olds saying taking out credit in someone’s name without consent is not abuse, compared to just 4% of 45–54-year-olds.

What are the signs of financial abuse in a relationship?

Hearing the stories of people who have been affected by the issue show the clear need for better education.

One young survivor of economic abuse, Gabby said: "I experienced economic abuse from the age of 17, but at the time I had no idea what it was. I didn’t recognise the warning signs because I had never been taught about economic abuse or how it can affect someone’s life.

"Looking back, I often wonder whether things could have been different if I had known what to look for.

"There needs to be far greater education for young people, particularly young men, about economic abuse and healthy financial boundaries in relationships.

"Being in a relationship with someone does not mean they are responsible for funding your lifestyle or carrying the financial burden alone.

"Banks have made progress in supporting victim-survivors of economic abuse, but there is still much more they can do.

"In my case, it took three years for my property to be repossessed, despite the bank being aware of the situation from the beginning. That delay had a devastating impact, damaging my credit score for years. Victim-survivors deserve better support, understanding and action."

How can families talk to young people about financial abuse?

Education is key to tackling this issue.

Money is still seen as a bit of a taboo among families and friends.

But having open and honest conversations can help break down these barriers and give abuse fewer place to hide.

As a mum of two young children, I have already started talking to my kids about money. I will adapt the conversation as they grow up and start to earn their own cash.

This research has really hammered home importance for me to point out what is ok - and what is not ok - when it comes to finances in a relationship.

Of course, every family will have their own way of handling money and having these conversations.

But I believe the important thing is that money is not a source of shame or something to talk about in hushed tones, as this provides conditions for abuse to thrive.

What is the government doing about financial abuse?

The good news is that the problem is getting more attention from the government through its Enough campaign, which is working to raise understanding on behaviours that are often dismissed, misunderstood or missed altogether. 

It’s hoped this will trigger reflection among perpetrators.

More banks are rolling out new technology to detect and prevent abusive messages sent through payment references when transferring money online.

Sam Smethers, chief of Surviving Economic Abuse, said: “At a time when young women are experiencing the highest rates of economic abuse, it is deeply worrying that some younger men are less likely than any other age group to say these behaviours are abusive.

“That puts them out of step with the vast majority of young men and the wider public and highlights the urgent need to challenge harmful attitudes.

“We need to be absolutely clear: controlling someone’s money and economic resources is abuse.

“Whether it’s restricting how someone spends their money, forcing them into debt or making it difficult for them to work or study, these are tactics used by abusers to exert power and control.

“They trap survivors in dangerous situations and make it harder to safely escape and rebuild their lives.

“These attitudes matter because they shape what people think is acceptable in relationships. That’s why all of us – the government, businesses, schools and communities – have a role to play in sending a clear message: economic abuse is abuse, and it has no place in our society.”