Financial abuse at Christmas: 7 warning signs and how to help

Christmas can bring extra financial pressure, but for some people, it can also make existing financial abuse worse. From controlling present budgets to forcing someone into debt, we explain seven warning signs to look out for, how to help someone safely and where to find confidential support.

Christmas is expensive enough without having to worry about how someone else will react to every pound you spend.

For most families, disagreements about present budgets, travel costs or who's paying for Christmas dinner are simply part of negotiating a busy and expensive time of year.

But there's a difference between deciding together that Christmas needs to cost less and one person controlling what another is allowed to spend.

Financial abuse can involve restricting access to bank accounts, demanding explanations for every purchase or pressuring someone to take on debt. And at a time of year when spending increases, relatives gather and household pressures build, those behaviours can become more visible.

Police in Northern Ireland recorded 1,407 domestic abuse calls between 20 December 2025 and 2 January 2026, compared with 1,290 during the equivalent period the previous year.

The Police Service of Northern Ireland highlighted financial strain, increased time together and heightened stress as pressures that can make existing abuse worse.

These figures relate to domestic abuse generally, rather than financial abuse specifically. However, they offer an important reminder that the festive period isn't always a happy or safe time for everyone.

So how can you recognise when Christmas spending crosses the line into financial control, and what should you do if you're worried about someone?

Does financial abuse get worse at Christmas?

Christmas can be a difficult time for anyone experiencing financial abuse. With presents to buy, family visits to arrange and the added cost of celebrating, money can become another way for someone to exert control over their partner or family member.

The festive period can also mean spending more time at home, away from work, friends and the usual routines that might offer some independence or breathing space.

And there are signs that the Christmas period can be particularly difficult for people experiencing domestic abuse. In January 2026, the Police Service of Northern Ireland reported a 9% increase in domestic abuse calls over Christmas and New Year compared with the previous year.

While these figures don't specifically measure financial abuse, they highlight the pressures that can make an already difficult situation worse.

Of course, worrying about the cost of Christmas doesn't make someone abusive. But for someone who already uses money as a way to control another person, the extra spending and expectations can provide more opportunities to do so.

For friends and family, Christmas might also be one of the few occasions when they notice something isn't right. Whether it's someone seeming nervous about buying a present, having to ask permission to spend money or being unable to afford a visit despite having an income, the signs aren't always obvious, but they're worth paying attention to.

What is financial abuse?

Financial abuse is when someone uses money or financial decisions to control, exploit or restrict another person.

It can involve a partner, former partner, family member or carer.

Examples include controlling access to a bank account, taking someone else's income, monitoring purchases or forcing a person to borrow money against their wishes.

Financial abuse is closely related to economic abuse, which can also involve restricting someone's access to work, housing, food, transport and other essential resources.

In England and Wales, economic abuse is recognised within the legal definition of domestic abuse.

Financial abuse doesn't have to involve physical violence, and it can continue after a relationship has ended.

Seven signs of financial abuse to look out for at Christmas

Financial abuse isn't always obvious, particularly when controlling behaviour is presented as sensible budgeting or concern about overspending.

The charity Surviving Economic Abuse advises friends and relatives to look for patterns of restriction, exploitation and changes in behaviour.

Here are seven warning signs that may become more noticeable over the festive period.

1. Someone has to ask permission before spending money

There's a difference between agreeing a Christmas budget together and one person having to seek permission for every purchase.

For example, someone may appear nervous about buying a small present, contributing to Christmas dinner or spending money on their children because they're worried about their partner's reaction.

They might also have to provide receipts or explain exactly what they've bought.

The warning sign isn't having a budget. It's one person using the budget to control, intimidate or punish the other.

2. One person controls all the household money

Some couples choose to have one person manage the finances, and that arrangement can work perfectly well when both people agree and have appropriate access to their money.

But it becomes concerning when someone has no meaningful control over their own income, doesn't know what's in their accounts or cannot access money for essentials.

At Christmas, this might become apparent when a relative cannot buy a gift, pay for transport or contribute to a family occasion without another person's approval.

Someone might also say their partner deals with all the money, even though they would prefer to be involved.

3. They're pressured to borrow money for Christmas

Christmas can create pressure to spend more than we can afford.

But being forced or threatened into taking out credit is different from choosing to spread the cost of a purchase.

Financial abuse might involve someone being pressured to take out a loan, use Buy Now Pay Later, increase an overdraft or put Christmas purchases on a credit card for another person's benefit.

This is sometimes called coerced debt.

It can leave someone responsible for repayments long after Christmas is over.

If a person seems frightened about borrowing money or says they have no choice, that could be a warning sign.

4. Gifts or money are used to control behaviour

A gift should be something freely given, not a way to create fear or obligations.

Financial control may involve someone threatening to withhold money or presents unless another person behaves in a particular way.

It could also involve using expensive gifts to demand obedience, punishing someone for buying the wrong thing or taking away money they were given by someone else.

The issue isn't the value of the present. It's whether money or gifts are being used to control someone's choices.

5. Their spending is constantly monitored

Modern banking makes it easy to track transactions, but monitoring another person's spending without their meaningful agreement can become a form of financial control.

Someone may have their banking notifications checked, be made to account for every purchase or face accusations whenever they spend money.

Over Christmas, that could mean being questioned about the price of gifts, who they've bought presents for or why they've spent money travelling to see relatives.

If someone seems anxious every time they use their bank card or receive a message about their spending, it may be worth paying attention.

6. Money is used to stop them seeing friends or family

Christmas is often a time for visiting relatives, but someone experiencing economic abuse may be prevented from travelling or socialising.

For example, a partner might deliberately withhold money for petrol or train tickets, refuse access to the family car or prevent someone from using their own income.

This can leave people increasingly isolated from the friends and relatives who might otherwise be able to support them.

Of course, not everyone can afford to travel at Christmas.

The important difference is whether someone is making their own decisions about affordability or having those decisions controlled by another person.

7. They're frightened of the consequences of spending money

Sometimes the clearest warning sign isn't the amount someone spends, but how they react to the possibility of spending it.

They might become visibly anxious about an unexpected Christmas expense, apologise repeatedly for buying something inexpensive or seem worried about their partner finding out they've accepted a gift.

They may also make excuses for not joining family activities or appear uncomfortable when money is discussed.

These behaviours don't automatically mean someone is experiencing abuse.

However, when combined with fear, isolation or a pattern of financial restriction, they may indicate that something more serious is happening.

What's the difference between financial abuse and arguing about money?

Every relationship can involve disagreements about money.

Partners might have different ideas about how much to spend on Christmas, whether to use savings or which presents are worth buying.

Having a strict budget, sharing financial responsibilities or asking each other about purchases doesn't automatically amount to financial abuse.

The difference is control, fear and the ability to make decisions freely.

A healthy financial discussion allows both people to express their views, understand their circumstances and reach an agreement.

Financial abuse involves one person using money to restrict the other's choices, create dependence or punish behaviour.

For example, agreeing together not to buy expensive Christmas presents is very different from someone preventing their partner from accessing their wages while continuing to spend freely themselves.

How can you help someone experiencing financial abuse at Christmas?

Christmas gatherings may provide an opportunity to notice that someone is struggling.

However, recognising a warning sign doesn't mean you should immediately confront their partner or try to take control of the situation.

Your response can make a significant difference to their safety.

Speak to them privately, if it's safe

If you're worried about someone, look for a safe opportunity to speak without the person you suspect of controlling them being present.

You could gently explain what you've noticed and ask how they're doing.

Avoid turning the conversation into an interrogation or demanding that they tell you what's happening.

Listen without judgement

Someone experiencing financial abuse may be frightened, embarrassed, financially dependent or unsure how to describe their situation.

They may also worry about what could happen if they speak openly.

Let them explain things in their own time and avoid blaming them for decisions they've made.

Don't confront the person you suspect of abuse

Challenging someone directly could put the person you're concerned about at greater risk.

Similarly, don't pressure someone to leave a relationship, close a bank account or make sudden financial changes.

They are best placed to understand the risks they face, and specialist support can help them plan safely.

Offer practical help

Depending on what they want and what is safe, you might be able to help with essential supplies, transport, somewhere safe to make a phone call or information about specialist services.

Ask what would actually be helpful rather than making decisions on their behalf.

Help them find confidential advice

Surviving Economic Abuse has a dedicated guide for friends and family on recognising the warning signs and responding safely.

You can find it at Surviving Economic Abuse: Spotting the signs.

You can also contact a domestic abuse support service for advice if you're worried about someone else.

Can banks help people experiencing financial abuse?

Yes. Banks and building societies may be able to offer specialist support to customers experiencing financial or economic abuse.

Depending on the provider and the circumstances, this could include discussing how to secure an account, changing communication arrangements, reviewing joint finances or helping with debt connected to abuse.

Some financial providers have specialist teams trained to understand the risks involved.

UK Finance and Surviving Economic Abuse have also published guidance explaining the support financial services providers may offer.

However, it's important not to make sudden changes without considering the potential consequences.

For example, freezing a joint account, changing banking passwords or redirecting wages could alert someone who is monitoring the household's finances.

If making changes might put someone in danger, confidential advice from a specialist support service can help them understand their options before taking action.

You can read more in UK Finance's guide to financial and economic abuse.

Where can you get help with financial abuse in the UK?

If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, confidential support is available.

Surviving Economic Abuse

Surviving Economic Abuse provides information about economic abuse, bank accounts, debt, financial safety and support services.

It also provides guidance for people worried about friends or family members.

National Domestic Abuse Helpline: England

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, provides free, confidential support for women experiencing domestic abuse.

Call 0808 2000 247, 24 hours a day.

Live Fear Free: Wales

Live Fear Free provides confidential support for people experiencing domestic abuse in Wales.

Call 0808 80 10 800, 24 hours a day.

Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline

Call 0800 027 1234, 24 hours a day.

Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline: Northern Ireland

Call 0808 802 1414, 24 hours a day.

Men's Advice Line

Men experiencing domestic abuse can contact the Men's Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.

Galop

LGBT+ people experiencing abuse can contact Galop on 0800 999 5428.

If you're in immediate danger, call 999. If you're calling from a mobile and cannot speak, follow the operator's instructions and press 55 when prompted.

If someone monitors your phone, messages, internet use or banking activity, consider using a safe device and contact method when seeking advice.